My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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