It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
