my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
