Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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