What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
