Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
