I'm gonna have a badass scar
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
