Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was so not down for the gang bang
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
