The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
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Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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