4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you had me at cake vodka
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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