Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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