I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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