I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
wow bdsm is so cute
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
