I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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