Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
