Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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