why didn't you poke me back
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Come see our sink grown plant.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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