so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
