I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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