somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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