It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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