I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
