i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
