Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
