she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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