Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
