went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
