I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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