No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Randomize
