Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I FOUND THE LEGS
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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