You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
50% drunk capacity currently
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.