we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
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Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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