Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out

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  (303): oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out http://tfl.nu/89b7
  Replies (16) Good night (797) Bad night (3617)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.

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  (647): It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task. http://tfl.nu/hv7g
  Replies (30) Good night (6192) Bad night (1007)
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  (831): View more from California

  I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.

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  (831): I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures. http://tfl.nu/n0ak
  Replies (3) Good night (3513) Bad night (557)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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  (847): .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party...... http://tfl.nu/uwbu
  Replies (7) Good night (1545) Bad night (4287)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."

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  (605): i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here." http://tfl.nu/dk13
  Replies (20) Good night (9151) Bad night (1848)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.

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  (302): I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn. http://tfl.nu/nwzi
  Replies (45) Good night (4922) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs

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  (773): She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs http://tfl.nu/4ami
  Replies (26) Good night (6505) Bad night (1543)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.

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  (540): Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house. http://tfl.nu/gobb
  Replies (7) Good night (1541) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.

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  (417): I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor. http://tfl.nu/qpor
  Replies (8) Good night (998) Bad night (2029)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.

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  (248): My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work. http://tfl.nu/6xpg
  Replies (8) Good night (612) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test

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  (910): I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test http://tfl.nu/ucs5
  Replies (4) Good night (2004) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.

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  (218): It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited. http://tfl.nu/4qpj
  Replies (17) Good night (2285) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position

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  (405): That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position http://tfl.nu/yl9k
  Replies (6) Good night (838) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have

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  (970): I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have http://tfl.nu/0tm9
  Replies (7) Good night (1439) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.

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  (952): So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child. http://tfl.nu/9pky
  Replies (0) Good night (834) Bad night (267)

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