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• (+44): View more from England

  if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

  (+44): View more from England

  keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"

  (206): View more from Washington

  do it. it's every man's dream.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  No. It just means your good at giving head.

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• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?

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• (818): View more from California

  My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You have to summon your inner elephant

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.

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