I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
