fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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