He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby