What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
