my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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