Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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