my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
