Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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