How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize