that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
