So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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