they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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