Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
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there was a trapeze. enough said
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
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Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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