Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
