I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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