You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
