Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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