So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
