you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize