used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
