What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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