yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
