Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
