i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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