Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
