were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
