Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize