Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
