its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
