Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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