drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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