I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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