Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
