you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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